Thursday, January 6, 2011

DAMNED FOOL WOMAN!

The Boss didn't say that, but I can tell.  It's the look on their faces, you know.  I've been crying off and on for three days.

I had a fantasy of Chuck, my pet bull, fathering a dynasty of gorgeous Jersey cattle.  He grows and grows, bigger, and stronger all the time.  When I pet him through a barbed wire fence, it seems that one day he will nudge the fence over and be in my lap.  It's getting dicy.

Well, when I mentioned one day that if they had to sell him, I would buy him, and let him have a pasture to dance in forevermore.  They finally quit chuckling, and The Boss introduced me to reality.

"He will grow to half a ton.  He would break the pelvis of a female, especially the young heiffers, and they would have to be killed.  When he gets too big, he has to be sold to someone, and he may end up at MacDonalds."

Well, I stood there, and my eyes started leaking, and my face scrunched up (it's a lot worse looking at my age).  The Boss said,  "Aw Jeez, ya aren't gonna cry, are ya?"

This is one of those statements that the fairy godmother teaches them at night just before puberty.  They are told to practice it until they get it just right, and then use it whenever the storm clouds appear on a female face.  I could make a long list of fairy godmother instructions to kids, but another time perhaps.

I looked back at him, turning red and ugly, and answered in his language, "YOU BETCHA!"  And I turned and walked back to my cabin, so as to spare him the agony of watching a female leak from the eyes.  I think it was very thoughtful of me. 

Meanwhile, the new baby Blessing is in a big pile of hay, in an open barn area, growing acclimated.  I visit her, and so does Buster the border collie.  She loves Buster.  She even likes KitKat.  If it has fur, it must be a relative, and she smiles.  By the way, the word really is "acclimated" NOT "acclimatized"  That latter abomination was coined by one of our more useless presidents; unfortunately it stuck.  Ugh!

When the time comes for Chuck to end his joyous life, I will cry some more.  I don't think our Creator makes very many animals that happy just to be alive.  I will try not to do it in front of the professionals. 

I'm also all through with MacDonald's Big Mac's.  If YOU eat at McD's, give a silent toast to the happy bull, Chuck.  Hamburger does not come from a package in the supermarket.  It comes from God's favorite, most wonderful creatures. 

Have you ever noticed that He gives the longest eyelashes to His favorites? 

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